Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Well here goes - just read the last entry so I have an idea of what I need to report on. Must admit that not having a computer for two weeks certainly does affect my ability to keep up to date on things. Once I finally got my computer back - all fixed - well still needs a bit of tweeking as they 'forgot' and left the download boxes in Arabic - and for some strange reason I cannot read them. So have to take the computer back so they can download the proper program -but for some reason I am not in a really big rush - it is much to hot to be carting around the computer - so it will wait for a bit - anyway I had 378 emails to wade through.

The biggest news is that my son and his wife are going to the temple on July 21 to be sealed for time and all eternity. I WANT TO GO HOME - but I really cannot afford it and besides he did not give me enough time to get my act together. I would love to be there - even though I am not able to go into the temple to witness the proceeding - I could still be there to help celebrate. But I got busy and asked two friends if they could go in my place - one of my friends is unable to go because it is her daughter's wedding reception on that day - like really - get your priorities straight - just kidding - and my other friend who lives in the town where my parents live emailed me to say that she would be honoured to attend in my place - so at least Miles will not be completely alone - and I will have a mole who will let me know what takes place and what is said - as I know I cannot rely on Miles to tell me anything - although I have threatened Shani that if she does not give me all the 'dirt' I would come back and live with them for an extended period of time - only drawback is that she would have no problem with my presence - it is my son who does not like to have anyone taking up his space - so it would not be much of a punishment for Shani - but I am hopeful that she will send me a nice long email with all the details and some pics would be nice. I have yet to see any pics of their 'first' wedding - so am looking forward to being able to see something.

My parents are coming in October - dad emailed letting me know when he could get dates that were good for them - wish they could stay longer - but will be arriving Oct. 18 and departing Nov. 19 - they do not want to be travelling over the Thanksgiving weekend in the States - such an attitude. But at least they will be here for Dad's b'day - Aymn has promised Dad a fish meal at Ballba - so I think that has a lot to do with the timing - lol.

July 5 saw me on a bus heading to Suez with Margaret. Her husband, Mustafa, is working in Sokhna at the port - and the company has put him up at the Ramada in a two bedroom suite on the Red Sea - so I traveled with Margaret to spend the weekend - what a treat. Man I would love to spend more time there. The suite was nice - nothing really fancy - but has a kitchen in it - as well as a dining area, living room, balcony that looks over the pool, two bedrooms and two bathrooms - only drawback was that the water was pretty much non-existent - got fixed just before we left - they needed to change a filter and then voila there was lots of water - but we were heading back by that time - ah well. The room was about a 3 minute walk from the beach - the water was wonderful - tad warm for my taste - sorry I like to be refreshed when I get in the water and tepid water just does not do the trick - but the water was so clear and calm - it was fantastic. The beach was a bit rocky - I was very glad that I had found my beach shoes - made things much easier on my feet. Saturday afternoon - around 1 - Margaret and I were in the water and we saw three dolphins cavorting around - what a sight - I was thrilled - I have never seen them in the wild. They were not doing a lot - just swimming along - but I was still tickled pink. Friday night there was a show put on for the guests - it was very interesting - it was local dancers and the final act was the 'whirling dervishes' - absolutely amazing. The two male dancers spun around and around for about 30 minutes - doing various 'tricks' - what a sight - wish I had had a good cam corder - but my camera just did not do it - not enough light - and the movement was too fast - but the show was really great to see. Must admit the bus ride was anything but comfortable - but hey the end result was great. Aymn was at the 'bus depot' in Alex to pick me up - he had arrived back from Libya early Friday morning and I arrived back on Saturday night. He was a bit 'chuffed' that I had travelled and was not waiting for him at home - he best get used to it.

I have not yet been back out to Suzanne's - Aymn has requested that I not travel by myself - so of course I will - but can really only do that when he is out of the country. Right now Suzanne and kids are here in Alex - both boys have been quite ill with a gi infection - throwing up and diarrhea - and of course she is going to give them broad spectrum antibiotics - I just do not get this dependence on antibiotics - every sniffle or anything means you take them. God help them if they ever really need antibiotics - they are going to be hooped.

Aymn is in Libya again - such a surprise.

July 11 was our 4 year anniversary - he was with his family - god forbid that he should change their time - so he arrived at 10:30 p.m. or so - and we had 'company'. His friend Ridda was here painting the windows. Yes, I do have windows - but what a lot of angst. Aymn is positive the guy upped the price because I am a foreigner - and after some research it does look as if he got a bit greedy - but suck it up - you agreed to the price so pay it up and have done with it - that is the price you pay for never having time to do these things yourself. Anyway - back to Wednesday - the carpenter came over as well and there was a big fight - I went to bed and dozed off. Around 1:00 a.m. Aymn finally came to bed. Thursday and Friday were to be my days - then Thursday night he just had to leave because he had been informed - by Suzanne - that Ahmed was ready to apologize - Aymn has not spoken to the kid in over two weeks - since the time I went to Mahmoudea with Suzanne - so he had to go running home - needless to say I was not happy - not that it matters he still goes no matter how I feel - makes me very angry - but he does not seem to care. He showed up again Friday afternoon - and found out that Ahmed had not been ready to apologize - and Aymn just managed to get into it with Amel - so what a waste as far as I was concerned. Going to start insisting that when he takes off like that that he cannot come back until it is scheduled to be my day again - as I am tired of not being able to plan anything. And I am the kind of person who needs to have a schedule and stick to it - I do not do well with this changing of plans at the last minute. So need to get him to understand that when he changes his plans then he cannot change mine again - if he takes off to his family - then he can stay with them until it is my scheduled time again. So needless to say things are still rocky. Talked with him on Saturday - and he is still playing the same song and dance - Amel has been hurt so .... After all what would I do if I were in her position - and my response was - I was not really sure - but I am pretty sure I would have decided to either make the best of it and stick it out and be as pleasant and happy as I could be or ask him to divorce me - no way can I see myself being so miserable and making everyone around me miserable - I just do not have that in me. He brought up the fact that I have told him that if he goes for #3 I am outta here - and I said - yes because you do not have the money to support me - let alone another one and there is also the matter of the time - he does not have enough time for his two families let alone a third - but of course he does not 'get' it.

Weather here has been very warm and of course humid. I am having trouble keeping up with the housework - of course having Ridda in to paint does not make me any more eager to clean up - what is with the workers here - they make no effort to work clean and then there is no way they are going to clean up after themselves - so after a year of working at getting the paint off the floor - I know have paint all over the place again - ARGH. And the real piss off was that he brought his two boys and they helped themselves to chocolate bars that I had in the fridge and my candy jar got really hit - just ticked me off something fierce - and they wore the ship ships (sandals) that I had bought for indoors outside on the balcony - so I had to clean them off - and of course there is paint and stuff all over them now.

The garden is looking better with more consistent care - Aymn actually got busy and worked at stopping up the leaks in the walls - but there are a few places that still need work. He even got busy and stopped up the holes that the rats were using to get under the garden. We had an envoy of irate neighbours over - we were eating lunch - and they dragged him out to the roof - and insisted that we get rid of the garden because it is the cause of the rats - so he stopped up the holes and got the bowab to clean up the mess that he had left behind - not sure if there are still rats - as I do not sit around at night outside waiting to see them around - but I refuse to get rid of my garden - although there are days I wonder - but for the most part I do enjoy having it - plus it is my contribution to helping keep the air clean.

I think that is the news for the moment. I will now endeavour to add some pictures. Well after 2 attempts I give up - will work on pictures later today or tomorrow.


Cairogal said...

lol...yes, the garden must be the cause of the rats...not the rubbish that gets left outside of everyone's front, sirree! It's the garden.

M, you seem to take a lot of this w/ your husband in stride. I find it rather ball-sy of your husband to talk about how hurt his first wife is, simply because, if he were that concerned about hurthing her, he wouldn't have married you. It's good that you're independent and hope that you name is on the deed to that flat. Looking forward to some photos!

egianqueen said...

Cairogal - I find it very ballsy of my dh as well. Like I have not been hurt at all by this - but that is another story. And yes the flat and the car are in my name - was toying with the idea of putting his name on the deed for the flat - but decided otherwise after thinking about it - realized that if anything were to happen to him - if his name were on the deed - his wife would come after me for her share of his share of the house - so there is no way his name will go on the deed - I do not trust her as far as I can throw her.

Cairogal said...

Good for you: a non-Muslim woman w/ a (God forbid) deceased Muslim spouse would not have the law on her side when it came to inheritance.

I'm glad your folks are coming out to stay. Have they been before?

egianqueen said...

My folks were here in January/February last year - I believe they are the reason that I ended up in Egypt when I did. I think if they had not forced the issue - by making travel plans - I would still have been in Libya. After all his life was much easier when I was in Libya and my co-wife was in ignorance of my existence. I am hoping that we will have better weather this time around.

PM said...

Dear Egianqueen,

Welcome back and I hope you will enjoy your parents' visit. Your husband's mentality is so intriguing and I can't imagine any other non-Muslim woman who would put up with him, but maybe it helps that you are Mormon (or at least I think you are). I see Muslim women put under so much pressure by fellow Muslims to "be patient" and know "Allah will provide" when the husband shirks his responsibilities. I can't count the times I have been told that. At least they can't say that to you!

I know you must really love him because otherwise, I can't imagine you would stay. Even the most easygoing woman has her limits. I hope your husband knows that, too.


egianqueen said...

PM - I am not sure that being a Mormon helps at all - I think the thing that keeps me here for now - is that I do love him and I tend to be a very stubborn person - I make a commitment and come hell or high water I do my darndest to honour it. Must admit that there are certainly times I wonder what I have done to myself. I try to be sensitive, tolerant ... - because we do come from two very different cultures - even in the west I walk to the beat of a different drummer - I was raised to think for myself (GASP), to be able to do for myself, and to have an opinion of my own (DOUBLE GASP) - which of course is the antithesis of the culture here. So I just try to take one day at a time - some days it is one minute at a time - and surround myself with wonderful friends. I am also advised - ad nauseum - to be patient - and unfortunately patience has never been my strong suit. My husband is a good man - I believe this with all my heart - he has placed himself in a very untenable position - and unfortunately I end up being dragged along for the ride, he does try his best - and sometimes he falls short. But then so do I. I am not a perfect person either - this is my mantra - how can I expect perfection when I myself are far from perfect - just ask my parents. I am looking forward to their visit. Also looking forward to my son's visit - I miss him very much.

EVA said...

Wonderful to read your update! Fascinating life you life--even though you play it off as dull--haha! I love the way you think! BTW, didnt I read something about you not being allowed in temple? Why? Or did I misunderstand. Does that mean even if you were in CA, you couldnt see your son get married? (I wish you blogged everyday and I'd love to see more pics--haha)