It has been a fairly uneventful week - not a lot of action - although I am out and about a lot - even more so now that Aymn is not around - he left for Libya on Saturday. Even when it is not my day he comes over for the morning because everyone is at school or work and he cannot be on his own - such a strange phenomenon - but then of course he thinks I am crazy because I quite enjoy some time on my own - not that I want to be on my own all the time - but I do enjoy some me time - when I can do what I want when I want and not have to worry that anyone is going to make demands on me. Like if I do not want to cook I don't cook - love that one. And if I want to laze around in bed for an hour or so after I wake up - I can - this one is also a favourite. Last Friday was my day but Amal and the kids were upset so he spent the day with them - and I had a quiet day - actually Aymn was quite miffed when he left - he wanted to take the car to help a truck driver who had been pulled over and lost his license - not sure why - and I dug in my heels and said no - then he dug himself a really deep hole - telling me that he worried about my car more then I do - that he looks after my car better than I do - and that after driving with me he drives better than I do - like he thinks I am going to let him ever use my car after that - I felt kind of bad - because it really is not like me to be like that - but after he would not allow me to drive his car - and on top of that I have only had the car for a few weeks - and I want to be the one that gets the first ding or dent in it - then he can drive it - maybe - but as I said after the comments - I am not sure he will ever drive it again. Then he leaves me to go and do whatever with the driver - and phones me - we had made plans to head to Tanta on Friday - to look at a smelter of some sort or other - using the car - and he tells me that he has decided to go to Tanta on his own on Saturday via taxi - but he was not upset - YEAH RIGHT - and I have some prime real estate in Florida for sale. He came over Saturday morning - told me he was going to the bank - counted his money and left - went to the fish market to get fish for his mother - phoned me and asked if I wanted any - told him no thanks - so spent most of the day out and about - came back in time for lunch - I made tacos - he commented he had never had them before - he ate lots of them - so I guess they are acceptable - then we spent a bit of time together - when he told me that he was not upset only hurt - could someone please explain the difference - and then he packed his bags and took off. Not sure how long he will be gone as he is planning on going to Tripoli. Sunday saw Sharon and I out and about. We stopped at the telephone company and paid our respective phone bills - mine was 814.75 LE - quite high - had a lot of international calls - actually most of them were Aymn's - we need to go to the main phone company and get a print out so that Aymn can pay for all his calls - then we headed to Carrefour - I wanted mushrooms - and of course spent way more money than that - but such is life - then we headed to the 'garden centre' to get a few plants - a few of the plants I had purchased had died - so I was sent to replace them - and I bought a couple more - that I thought were cute - now I need to make the time to plant them. Was going to do it today - but did not feel like facing the sand storm that was going on around here - YUCK. So am hoping I can get them done tomorrow. Bought some soil at Carrefour and planted some seeds - second try - hope they grow this time - if not I am going to give up on growing things from seed. Today I actually got some of the seeds planted - lots of herbs and a variety of cherry tomato. Today I also tried a new recipe and it did not work out well - threw most of it out - such a waste - but there was no way I was going to eat it - if I am going to gain weight from eating treats I want to at least like them.
As I said not much going on in my boring little life.
11 comments:
As I commented before, I love to read your posts. But I do get upset that your husband is not fair with his time. I dont know how he justifies this.
I enjoy reading your blog. I don't always agree with you. Just a word of advice, don't let him take your car! I'm not Muslim, but very familiar with Islam. He should be taking care of all financial needs. I know this isn't the case with you. Good for you! I knew when he sold that car, he would try to take yours from you. Don't start this pattern with him. Have you thought about whom is going to watch your car when you go see your son in Canada? Don't let him have it! I am sure his kids would trash it! You bought this car with your money! I have always thought he married you because your were finically secure. Here he is, already trying to grip his hands on your money. He makes me mad! Grrrrrr :(
Amirah
Well, Amirah is right: he's not fulfilling his Islamic obligations to you, the 2nd wife. On the other hand, you seem to be enjoying yourself there and are quite independent. I suppose this is just a matter of what you're happy with personally. At any rate, it's always good for a wife to control the finances! ;-)
Anonymous - keeping him away from the car while I am in Canada is going to be a challenge - as he will likely drive me to the airport in the car - would be easier to control if he did not drive me - as there are only two keys - I would take one with me to Canada and the other one is in the hands of the 'parking lot' - and I would have my SIL tell them that noone would have access while I am away - this problem is something I am working on - mulling over.
Eva and Cairogal - it does upset me that he does not divide his time equally and that he always insures that his family gets their time - while I frequently get shortchanged - I have decided to go with the flow - for now - and work on making myself happy - and if in a year things have not changed then it is time to reevaluate the 'marriage' and decide if I want to continue or not - so right now I am just waiting and seeing. I cannot change him - all I can do is change how I react to him.
Thanks for all the comments.
:)) You do seem content, and self-sufficient which is good in more ways than one. When are you heading to Canada?
Well, I have two questions....the tacos? How did u do those? Do they sell taco shells here?
And the print out of the phone bill....now I've wanted to do that many times...but my BIL has told me that it's REALLY expensive.....so how much did u pay? I'm guessing his idea of expensive and mine are two different things....
"Do they sell taco shells here?"
Can't you get these sometimes at alpha market? or other markets that cater to the pasties like me?
I have purchased taco shells at Carrefour and Fathalla - they are available sometimes - but what I used were tortilla chips - layered the 'taco' - tortilla chips on the bottom - then lettuce - then the beef - then cheese - tomatoes and finally sour cream - we used to call these 'haystacks' back in Canada.
Salaam Alaikum Sister,
I can't remember if I have commented here before but our lives share many similarities. What I have learned is that you should work on making yourself happy in your life -- without your husband in full-time attendance -- and you will be in a better position to figure out how and if he fits into your world. An Arab wife (especially one in polygyny) will never be able to do that quite the same way as a Western woman because of the way needing a husband is culturally ingrained in them from childhood. In fact, it makes me feel sorry for them. I know my own husband's other wife has always suffered far more on the rare occasions he was with me than I ever did when he spent week after week with her, paying all her expenses and spoiling her materially.
You seem to be doing very well with addressing this issue and may even find yourself no longer needing -- or wanting him. I believe that is what the Arab first wife is usually counting on when her husband marries a Westerner.
How long have you been married and living in Egypt. Do you work?
Take care,
PM
PM - I am still working at making myself happy - do not think I will get to the point where I do not want him - I love him to pieces - but I am determined to make a life for myself that does not necessarily revolve around him - or I will drive myself crazy - or as my father says it is but a short putt - and I have been in Egypt for about 1.5 years - was in Libya for two years prior to that -we are coming up on our 4 year anniversary - and I do not work - worked in Libya - but have no desire to work here - am quite content being a 'lady of leisure'.
I've thought that you and PM have had a lot in common for the longest time.....I'm glad that PM made it over here......
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