Thursday, September 13, 2007

Today is the first day of Ramadan. During this time I am going to be working on my faith. I need to start saying my prayers regularly - starting with baby steps - my goal is to say one prayer a day, then work my way up. I want to read from my scriptures and study - I receive four lessons every week for the Sunday School lesson. I have been saving all of them for when I have time - well I am going to make time - would be nice if I could print them out - but as of yet my printer is not hooked up and even if it were I am sure there is no ink - so....

Aymn arrived back from Libya early Tuesday morning - I had the honour of getting up at 3 a.m. and driving to pick him up. He came back with one of his truck driver buddies. I was supposed to pick him up not all that far from the house - but the truck was having mechanical problems - gas filter was leaking - so I had to drive 1/2 way to Borg el Arab to find them. Then we had to drive through Agamy looking for a filter and all but one of the gas stores was closed - and it did not have the right one - so we drove back to the truck - unloaded the treasures that Aymn has brought back - he purchased a refrigeration unit and is bringing it back - to be sold - and he also brought a bunch of watermelons from Marsa Metrouh - I asked for 4 or 5 and got 11 - they are small ones - which is good. They are very tasty watermelons - best ones I have had since I left Libya. He spent most of our time together sleeping - said he would be heading back to Libya Wednesday evening - so went to spend time with the family - and surprise, surprise - he is not heading out until tonight sometime - ARGH. I gave him a lift with the watermelons that he was taking for his family - and he wanted me to drop him at the top of the street - not take him to the apartment building and I just disregarded this request and drove up to the building. Dropped him with his 10 watermelons and Sharon and I carried on to Carrefour - I had basically no meat in the house - so went to get some. Bought 2 kg of chicken breasts and 1 kg of 'steak'. Should be set for quite some time. I do not really think Aymn will be spending a lot of time with me during this Ramadan. He is planning on spending a lot of time in Libya - if he can get across the border - he went last week and spend five days trying to get across - they closed the border to Egyptians unless you were a truck driver delivering goods or are married to a Libyan. He figures he will 'pass' as a driver assistant and then he will likely just stay until he gets all of his business complete - so I figure he will just stay for as long as he can.

I cannot understand why he lies to his family. He went to visit Mom and told her he had just arrived in Egypt - LIE. He then went on and on about how upset he is with Suzanne and Gehan because they 'took' me to the engagement party - not true - I did not go with either one of them - met up with Gehan and was with Mom and Suzanne's kids - but not Suzanne. And told Mom that he never said I could go to the party - another lie - I asked him twice and he said fine - then changed his mind because Amel and kids were going - and told me he was not going - so I went - caused major problems for no reason that I can see - but he has lumped me with Amel and does not believe that I can be civil to her and the kids in a social gathering - oh well - their loss. I just do not GET it - why this is such a big deal. Oh well - not my problem - at least I don't think it is. I did nothing wrong and I have just as much right to attend family gatherings as Amel and the kids do, but of course Amel does not see it that way - she is still hoping that I am going to disappear. So sorry to have to disappoint her.

Today I went and paid the telephone bill - the last international bill I will have for a very long time. They cut the service because I missed a payment and to get it reinstated Aymn has to go to the telephone company downtown and get it reinstated and he does not appear to be in any hurry to do this for me so I am unable to make international calls. And the computer program I was using is no longer functioning since I got the computer fixed - ARGH.

Tonight I will be heading to Mom's to break the fast with the family. Then I think tomorrow I am heading out to Mohmodea with Suzanne and family and spending a day or so out there. She
'needs' me to spend some time with her - and since I am going to be on my own - why not.

Then I am planning a trip to Cairo to visit Safa and her girls for a few days next week. Will try to get into the habit of travelling to Cairo and environs at least once a month. There is better shopping - a lot more ex pats so more foreign goodies. And it is only 2.5 hours away - not a really big deal. Because I am a Canadian and have wheels - hence I will travel - LOL.


Anonymous said...

Did you try Skype? It's great for pc to pc phonecalls and even for regular calls if you pay a small fee/.

Lynn said...

I am so glad to see that you are still able to receive the Sunday School Lessons. They are so good. Happy Studying. If you ever want a study buddy and want to discuss anything....don't forget me! : )

PM said...

Deare sister,

Although you write this all in a very "matter-of-fact" tone, I feel so hurt and angry for you. Your marriage has so many uncanny similarities to my own that I cannot help but feel this way. As my therapist and psychiatrist both tell me: You deserve a lot better." Don't you feel that?

You are in my prayers.

Happy Holy month,

EVA said...

EQ: Do you by any chance know how long the drive is from Alex to Port Said?

Anonymous said...

Yes I have to echo the comment on here as your marriage does not seem to bring you much happiness at all..your husband only seems to be interested in a very secretive relationship with you...I would feel that he is ashamed of this marriage by hiding it as he does...what do you get out of this situation?? I really don't see much pleasure or closeness. you seem to enjoy your friends but any mention of "the husband" seems to be of arguments or hurt. "you do deserve better"

Anonymous said... works well too, just be prepared for a 1 second delay when speaking, but I use it to call my family back in Canada all the time. Skype gave me issues with accepting my Canadian credit card, so net2phone became my friend :)

Lies, deceptions, "lies of omission" and general disharmony will break things down fast in any relationship - but especially in a plural one, where women's emotions are particularily vulnerable due to the challenges of divided time, and sharing the man of their heart.

Being a 2nd wife doesn't mean you are 2nd-loved, 2nd-cared for, 2nd-important. It means you are his 2nd wife, the 2nd time he married, it was to you. It means he has two homes, two families, two sets of responsibilities, two households that he is accountable for in his treatment thereof. Allaah makes him accountable for how he treats his families, but the wives can make him accountable too. I think you make it easy for him, to be honest. You give so much of yourself, even in situations where you shouldn't. (in my opinion) and I think it opens yourself up to be used (such as the 3am rescue mission - he's got brothers-in-law, you're a woman, it's dark and late at night. Tell him you don't drive at night, that it's not safe. And go back to sleep, with a smile - he'll figure it out, and he'll stop asking you for things like this, because it won't get him anywhere.)

Are you perhaps afraid that if you don't give of yourself (even in ways that you're resentful of), that he'll walk away?

There are many reasons for a man to marry again, in Islam.

There are no reasons (acceptable ones) for a man to not care for the wife he marries. If he is unable to, whether that be financially or emotionally, he needs to let her go.

You sound so unhappy, subhan Allaah...I pray that you'll find your way through this and come out with a smile. Whether you come out with him, or without him, that's your choice. I wouldn't expect him to change much.

Have a wonderful visit with Safa - I read her blog all the time and I think she's a wonderful sister, so I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time! We canucks know how to laugh and make a good time, GREAT!