Wednesday, March 02, 2011

BRRRRR - third day of below minus 20 temps - with the wind chills it has been around minus 37 - Monday was the worst because the wind was the strongest and I went out for a walk - dang it I must be crazy - I left Egypt because of what?????  I am beginning to think I was crazy - but then I read what is going on and I am glad to be here - I may be danged cold - but at least I am safe.  Libya has eclipsed Egypt in the news - but I do not think things are normal in Egypt yet - not sure when they will be - I am hoping that when I go back in December things will be 'better' - I am thinking it is going to be a long time before things in Egypt are 'normal' - mainly because no one has any idea of what normal is going to be.  Unfortunately the people are expecting miracles to happen overnight - to have democracy, better wages, better living conditions - and these things are all going to take time - has taken 30 years for things to get as bad as they were - so please be patient - none of the things that people protested about happen overnight.

Miles and Shani are getting ready to head to Houston today - their flight leaves around 5:00 p.m. - so I will be driving them to the airport and then I am on my own - with wheels - imagine - WOW - the trouble I can get into.  Only drawback is that is too cold to get into too much trouble.  Oh well I will work on it.

Yesterday I went to MEC and wandered around - managed to find a few things to purchase that will assist me in keeping warm when I get back to delivering the mail - not really looking forward to it - but the money is good and the exercise (if I survive) is awesome.  Can you tell I am trying to convince myself.  I don't think I am doing a very good job - because I am really looking for a cave that I can hibernate in until the weather becomes warmer - but so far no luck.  I have been successful - I think (I hope) in finding a pair of winter boots that I can wear at work - have been wearing them around the house - in the hopes that I will be able to 'break' them in a bit - they are not that uncomfortable - but not as comfy as my runners - but I truly hope they will keep my feet warmer than my runners do.

My life seems to be in a state of turmoil - wish I could get it back on track - but I cannot do this on my own and my 'partner' is quite content to bury his head in the sand and ignore everything in the hopes that it will all just disappear and I will come to my senses and be a good girl and let him continue to do what he wants when he wants with no consequences - think he will ever get that - I don't.  Must admit one 'nice' thing about Miles is that at least he is willing to talk things through - oh well such is my life.

Has been very nice to be appreciated while I am here in Calgary - I think it is the first time since I married Ayman that I have felt that way - I have usually felt very much in the way - but Miles has certainly changed and for the better.  Patience - wish I was better at it - slowly but surely.

Not much else has been going on - trying to keep warm - major feat - and trying to work through the 'mess' I seem to have made of my life - this is a tough one - as it keeps me awake at nights - which does not help my situation at all.  I have trouble keeping it together when I get enough sleep - but when I am plagued with insomnia it is ten times worse.

2 comments:

Rhonda said...

Hey girl! You are in a rougher than usual patch right now. Keep going forward one step at a time. Let go of Egypt and Libya for a bit. Your mental energy won't change the outcome there and it is just draining you. Amyn is smart enough to stay out of trouble and he will be ok. Sometimes we can't see how bad things are and we want to go back to that lovely time when it was so intimate and magical. How long ago was that? Just for today you can focus on your world here and push all that world away from you. Give it a break. You might be closer to a solution than you know!

bruno4.4 said...

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