Friday, July 04, 2008

My computer is working - for the moment - have been having computer issues for a couple of weeks - grrrr. And of course Aymn is in Libya - where else.

I have not been posting because I have been struggling - with a lot of things - need some time to myself - at home (and this is not home) where I can get some perspective. Right now I am hating being in Egypt. I am heading back to Canada on August 6 - when I booked my ticket there was a seat available on June 25 - but I had committed to being here until Aymn came back from Libya - grrr - wish I could just break my word - seems to be the norm around here - but I kept it - so am 'stuck' here for another monh. I will be in Canada for a little over two months - of course that will depend on decisions that I make while at home.

I celebrated my birthday on June 2 - my dining room furniture was to be delivered- needless to say it is still not here - not holding my breath for it to appear before I head back to Canada - and Aymn got shirty when he told me it would be delivered for my birthday and I shot back 'What year?' - go figure.

I have completed the chemotherapy on my face - had to apply some fancy cream which halted the burn of the chemo - and my face is looking much better - still a bit pink where the chemo burned away the skin - but not too bad.

Summer has started here - meaning it is very busy - traffic is even crazier than usual because we now have lots of 'tourists' here and they are even worse drivers - mainly because they do not know where they are going - so it is even more of a challenge. I really hate driving now - there are lots more vehicles and a lot more pedestrians darting across the street - would be interesting to know if anyone keeps track of the pedestrian fatalities in this country.

Aymn spends most of his time in Libya - I keep track - and since the beginning of December - on average - I see him for 3 days a month - not exactly what I signed up for - so......

Not a lot is going on in my life - I spend most of my time at home - alone - so not much to report - I do not do a lot that requires reporting.

Looking forward to my sanity break in Canada - spending time with friends and family.

6 comments:

on the edge said...

Sorry I didn't know you had skin cancer Mo . Hope all is well there now . I was just thinking of you this morning , wondering what decisions you had made , because I thought all this time you were in Canada already ! LOL ! Oh well , It seems like it would have been better for you if you had stayed here in Libya , at least you would see Ayeman more , lol . Anyways , I am glade you posted as I miss your post so much . Take care you !

Rhonda C. said...

Yes indeed, glad u posted. Sounds like a trip to the cool north country is just what the doctor ordered. I hear the detest in your words. Wish it were better. Hang in there.

PM said...

Your marriage sounds like mine was. I didn't realize how little I got out of it until it ended. Living alone in the Arab world, far away from your loved ones with a man who just uses you as an occasional (one weekend a month) bed partner, yet still thinks he has the right to weigh in on any issue he chooses to in your life, just isn't worth it Maureen.

When I first "met" you I asked you something along the lines of if this kind of "marriage" was worth it (because I was in the same boat), and now almost 2 years later I would ask the same thing. What do you get out of your marriage? Are you happy living alone so far from your family and settling for one weekend a month with Ayman? Are you happy that Amal will always be his wife and neither she nor her children will ever make your life easy? Are you happy with letting him have a say in what you do and how you spend YOUR money, even though he doesn't support you? Do you support him, Maureen? Does he ever borrow or ask you to put something on a credit card with promises to pay it back, but never does? Are you happy Maureen? I want you to be happy and I wonder if you are.

I hope your vacation will give you some perspective.

Take care,
PM

Lynn said...

My *hugs* from me to you. I wish I was there to give you one for real. I am SO happy that you will be coming back to Canada, so you can think and clear your head. What a better place to do that in.....somewhere near family and friends. I bet you miss Miles.

I am also very happy to hear that your skin cancer is doing MUCH better. And that you are able to get some cream to cut down on the burn. That must be SO painful.

Well, thanks for letting me know if you are still there. So sorry that things are not that fun right now. Let's hope for a quick July, so that August's trip home can be here before you even know it!

Susan said...

Oh, Mo....I know this isn't what you signed on for. Marriage is meant to feel like this partnership of shared emotions and obligations. When you feel like you're a single woman with an occasional visitor...PM gives good advice (as usual).

Safa said...

Sending you love from yet another single woman with an occasional lover......sigh.

Can't wait till you get to my place here.....