Saturday, August 11, 2007

It has been an eventful two weeks in my little world.

I have been working at learning Arabic - must admit two hours a day five times a week is a bit much - after an hour my brain turns to mush and is raising the white flag to surrender. But I am slowly, slowly learning a bit. Unfortunately, with Suzanne moving I really do not have anyone to practice on - I do not know enough to be able to visit with Mom - and of course Aymn prefers to speak English - so I am going to have to figure something out. I am heading into the last week of lessons - Wafa - my teacher - heads back to work on Sunday - so I will be having the classes in the evening instead of in the morning - should be interesting. Then I am taking a break - planning on going to Sokhna for five or so days - I SO NEED this break - would love to invite Aymn - but I know he would say yes and then back out at the last minute because of his family. And I am tired of being disappointed - so I do not even bother asking any more.

We went to Damietta - under the guise of looking at furniture - but soon became apparent that the real reason was that Aymn had some business to attend to and he did not want to take a bus or mini van - much more comfortable in the air conditioned vehicle - we did look at two places for furniture - took about 30 minutes of time - the rest of the time was spent on his business. So we are no closer to getting a dining room suite - sigh - now why am I not surprised.

Went shopping twice with Margaret - must quit doing that - the first trip ended up with me succumbing and purchasing two chairs that I had been thinking about buying - told Aymn about them - he hit the roof - too expensive - have not yet told him that I bought them - guess I need to bite the bullet and let him know. They are swivel/rocker/recliners - soooooo comfy. I am so looking forward to enjoying them. They are scheduled to be delivered on August 25 - can hardly wait - will cost 100 LE to get them carried up to my apartment - this will be interesting - if they manage to get them up I will gladly pay 200 LE - I am having doubts that they will be able to carry them up the stairs - the stairs are not very wide - but time will tell. Then the second time we went shopping we stopped in at my favourite dress store and I ended up buying two new dresses- they will be ready in 10 days - they have to be custom made - by Omar the tent maker - have been there so often that they k now me by name - albeit it is Aymn's name - as you never give out your own name - just not done here - just hope they still have the colours I want in stock. One of the dresses is a really nice shade of blue with cream inserts and cream stitching, the other dress is a really bright coral with cream - it has cream chiffon as side inserts at the bottom of the dress - really like the colour - nice and bright - which means Aymn will likely not be too keen on it - he has 'realized' that we have different tastes when it comes to clothes - he came to this realization when I came back from Canada wearing a tunic I had made - bought the fabric in Canada - cotton - white with what looks like paintball splotches in bright colours all over it - he is not into bright colours - unfortunately for him the 'old' Maureen is making herself heard - as you all know I LOVE bright colours.

Last Sunday there was an engagement party for one of Aymn's cousins. I really wanted to go - invited myself - Gehan (SIL) ran it past Aunt Mehasan - who was just fine with it - even asked Aymn last Friday if I could go - he said fine - then on Sunday he requested that I not go because Amel and the kids were going - I was not happy. He said he would take me to the house later to offer my congrats. After he left I phoned him and asked him why he did not take Amel and the kids by the house later to offer congrats at which time he blew a gasket and said he would not go and neither would anyone else - so I figured it was safe for me to go. Well it turned out that he was going to go - found out when he called me at 11:00 p.m. and asked where I was - I told him I was at the party - he blew yet another gasket - how could I do that - how could he bring Amel and the kids if I were there - Amel would be so humiliated and embarrassed with my being there - I offered to leave - got out my keys and he hung up on me - my SIL, MIL and one of my nieces asked what was going on - said I was going home because if I stayed Aymn and family would not come. They refused to let me go - said so what if they do not come. He phoned again and I again said I would leave - he again went off then hung up - again I was told to stay. He phoned a third time - where would he be, he was always going to be in the middle, what would Amel think if I was sitting beside Mom and my SIL - she would think they were being disloyal to her - yada, yada, yada - and he said that he was taking the the family home and were not coming. Got off the phone and the family again said - so what if he chooses not to come. So after feeling down for about 10 minutes - I said screw it and I enjoyed myself. Did not get home until 2:30 a.m. - much to late for this old lady. Especially as I had to get up at 6 and head to class at 8 - ARGH. Had planned on going to club Monday morning - but opted instead to head home and sleep - had a wonderful migraine brewing because of stress - how odd. Spent most of the day fighting the migraine - which meant I spent most of the day sleeping. Did not hear from Aymn - even though technically at 1o:30 Sunday night it was my time.


Tuesday I went to class as usual - feeling pretty good - no headache -manged to feel rested - and at 10:30 himself called - wanted to know where I was - told him I was at my Arabic class - asked when I would be finished - told him by 11 I would be done - said he would call me back then. Called me a couple of minutes after 11 - asked me to meet him at El Baron - a coffee shop - asked him if I was picking him up or what - said to park the car on the street. OK. So I drove there - must admit I was very nervous - even though I KNEW I had done nothing wrong - went and sat beside him - he had opted to sit outside -which mean the seats are situated so that you are sitting beside each other with a table between - after 20 minutes of sitting there - with him asking me how I was, how was class, when was my friend arriving, and how was my Arabic teacher - and of course making calls on his mobile - I prepared to leave - he asked me if I was leaving - said that there did not seem to be much point of being there - as nothing was going on - he then asked if I was going home - to which I said yes - then I got up and went to the car -he stayed and dealt with the waiter - I had no idea if he was coming with me or not - so I got ready to leave and he walked up to the car just before I took off - so I let him in - drove by his home - he did not ask me to let him out - so drove to my place - he came in with me and then he started again with all this crap about Amel being humiliated and embarrassed - what a load - he also asked when I decided to go - told him when he said he and his family were not going I figured it would be safe for me to go - asked me why I did not let him know - told I did not know - then asked him why he did not let me know he had changed his mind - about going and about going to Libya - because the last I knew he was heading to Libya Sunday night after stopping in briefly at the party - he did not answer - asked me if it would have cost much to call him and let him know my change of plans - said no it would not and then asked him the same question. I was very cool, calm and collected and did not apologize once - which I think he was really waiting for - but again I did not do anything wrong. After about 40 minutes - all the while making calls and taking calls on his mobile - he got up to leave - I then asked him if I should be contacting a lawyer while he was in Libya - he looked puzzled - and I continued - to start divorce proceedings - the look on his face was priceless - looked like he had been hit with a 2 x 4 - he went and sat down again. He had his say - I have yet to have mine - as there was not enough time because I had to leave by 3 to meet Margaret for our evening out. But I have been busy 'writing' out my response. Chatted with him briefly that we need to resolve this - he said in shaa allah - and I stated that he cannot bury his head in the sand and hope it will go away - because it will not - only way that is going to happen is if I end the marriage - then Amel and the kids will be happy - but he will not - he does not want me to leave - says he needs me - we will see.

So that has been the excitement in my life over the last few weeks. Aymn is in Libya - where he runs to when things get to be too much for him here. But when he comes back we are GOING to talk and in shaa allah he will GET what I am saying - not holding my breath - but I am hopeful. Keep me in your prayers I am going to need all the help I can garner.

6 comments:

Cairogal said...

M, you are one strong woman. I can totally understand why his wife would be humiliated. I just don't understand why he cares when he's the one who chose to marry again. What about your humiliation? Does he think a different set of rules applies because of your nationality/religion/etc? What do you feel Ayman gets from you that he doesn't get from Amel?

Lynn said...

Girl. You are totally in my prayers. I pray that you will be able to say EVERYthing that you want him to hear. I pray that he will HEAR it. Listening and Understanding are two different things!!

Heather said...

I love yoU:) and eventually all will be made right:) glad to see your doing what you need and feel and letting the cards fall how they may. YOU GO!!!!!! GIRL POWA;) All is well
light and love
Heather:)

on the edge said...

Geeze Lousie ! What to say ?Obviously the man doesn't read the Quran , not does AMAl , or they would both know that this is totally wrong what they are doing . If you ,he , or she didn't like the whole set up , all any of you have to do is JUST SAY NO !!! And get the heck outta Dodge , right ? Sad to say it looks like the only solution is divorce here since he certainly isn't flexiable enough to treat you both correctly , and as a man , he is really missing the boat here , in that he should just put on his pants and tell AMAl this is the way it is .SHe doesn't like it there is always her options and he still would have to suport her and the kids , so it is not as if he is goiing to kick her out to the streets .By the same token , you knew he was married when you said ok to marriage . This is a no win situation for all . And all because of him !He is the only one that will come out on top , typical man !Sorry to be so blunt but it just pisses me off the way he treats you .

Cairogal said...

Missing the regular dose of egianqueen...

Safa said...

and what else?? HUH? Did u forget? You and I got together too! SIGH....